Delinquency of thought
“Why are you single?”
“You are economically self-sustaining but you need to marry to be socially sustaining and happy”
This misguided compliment, often doled out to single unmarried women whether she is a celebrity or a normal citizen, has raised a question: If a woman is single without a life partner but doing great, can’t she still lead a happy and fulfilling life?
Many people will say no, thinking just about her romantic relationships but discounting her other many loving, platonic relationships. In our society, where a woman is discriminated and looked down upon, how can one be sensitive toward the feelings of unmarried women? The worst tragedy is that a single woman is always vulnerable to prejudicial evaluations by married people of both sexes.
A never-married economically strong woman in urban area is considered as not attached, lonely spinster, cat lady who loves autonomy, is carefree, uncontrolled and doesn’t like to be told what to do, and when and how to do things. Likewise, a rural single woman is considered as unattractive, imperfect, having poor and irresponsible parents (not able to give enough dowry), and one who didn’t get the right match due to wrong astrological chart and so forth. But at both the settings, a single woman is considered immature with no social responsibility at all, easy person to get loan from and an object of sexual prey. A single woman is always the odd one out, the one without the man, the one to be felt sorry for having the worst fate.
Expressing anger, depression and sadness is a part of life, but when it is articulated by single woman, it means “need to get laid” reaction from so-called responsible experts.
Even the government policies are not single-woman friendly. Single women are blasted for no contribution to fertility, but the government laws deny her reproductive rights. Likewise, men have inheritance rights but a single woman should reach the age of 35 and assure her parents she will never marry. In addition, a single woman doesn’t have liberty to choose her dependent in her insurance claim as there is a mindset that she don’t have any dependent.
We are in a society where we know how to celebrate marriage but don’t know how to respect people who want to stay single and are doing just fine. Mandy Hale in her book, The single Woman: Life, Love and a Dash of Sass has written “Single is no longer a lack of options-but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day happily and let your Ever After work itself out”.
So, the time has come to break the negative stereotypes of single life and feel proud of one of them and fight over discrimination against them. We must bring down the cultural and legal wall separating couples and singles, and efforts need to be made to reduce implications like self-doubt and insecurity. Some of us have begun this cultural work, but we need much more participation.
Oops! Deuba does it again
Deuba and Dahal have made a mockery of the constitutional provision of impeachment as a weapon of last resort with its preemptive registration as a tactical move to stop CJ Karki from delivering justice. This will set a bad precedent and there will be more such tactical use of impeachment in the future considering how justices at the SC are being appointed in political quotas in recent times.
Challenges for reconstruction
One of the major challenges faced in the reconstruction process of Nepal is the absence of elected local government. Lack of government in local level was reflected in the major pre-disaster and post-disaster events, where it took months to reach the affected region and still no widely-accepted data is available. In the absence of an elected local government, top-down approach of governance has its own accountability deficit.
Apil KC/Keshab Sharma
Jhamsikhel as I knew
Hari-ko-pasal, right at the said junction used to be the place to buy any household item ranging from food grains and other household items. There was nothing that he did not have. Most often he loved keeping his customers waiting, more so if they were younger. He kept his client engaged with jokes and tole gossip.
Empowering local bodies
It is common to rent a room or two based on nothing more than a verbal contract. There are two types of owners. There are many who rent legal properties informally and those who rent out illegally built ones. The rental space demand is so much that owners openly flout bylaws by building more number of floors than approved. It is difficult, as it is, to bring both type of owners within the system.
Traffic Police in Kathmandu
As busy and hassling as the traffic system in Kathmandu is, the Traffic Police here have to handle an equally strenuous job. Over 1,400 traffic officers in and around the Kathmandu Valley battle against the pestering traffic and air pollution each day.
Menstrual taboo outdated
I have seen my sisters and friends isolated and treated in discriminatory manner during their first menstruation cycle. They were not allowed to look at the sun, to touch water source, flower, fruits, any male family member, nor even hear their voice. The activist may claim the situation has changed and I do agree but still during every month my loved ones turns into untouchables beings.